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Suggesting a match to people that don’t act properly


Is there a halachic (or other) problem with suggesting a match if one is not sure how careful one of the parties will be regarding halacha? (I heard once that if one is not sure if the couple will keep taharas hamishpacha, one should not suggest a match?) How far would this go? If someone sees that the woman for example doesn’t keep her knees covered at all times or is lax in other areas, should one avoid suggesting a match for her?




There was controversy regarding being the mesadar kedushin at a wedding of two people that will not keep taharas hamishpacha, because it is assisting them to sin. Others say that it is permitted for various reasons, and this is what most rabbonim do. In any case, this will not apply here, because their marriage is not going to cause her to dress this way. People that unfortunately do aveiros, as we all unfortunately do, (lashon hora, sinas chinam) doesn’t mean that she can’t get married.

So, by all means, if you can help this person get married it is a big mitzva.

Best wishes


ע’ אג”מ ח”ד ס’ פ”ז משום שהוא רק מסייע והוא לא בזמן האיסור והוא גם משום פרנסה, ויש מתירין משום שאם לא יעשה הקידושין זה יהיה יותר גרוע, ע’ ס’ משכן שילה עמ’ קטז והובא במעשה איש ח”ה עמ’ קכד וח”ד עמ’ קסז שיש מצבים שבהימנעות גורמים לרע יותר גדול כגון נישואין אזרחיים.


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