Question:
I’m a baalas teshuva and my dad is questionably Jewish. By that I mean, he grew up thinking that he was Jewish (though not in a religious home), but the night before his wedding to my mother an Orthodox Beis Din in France realized that his mother was a convert (whose conversion was very questionable), so they did a “giyur l’chumra”. However, as far as I know, my father has always been traditional- he does what he knows. Sometimes I call it orthodox without the halacha. Ex- he’ll put on tefillin, builds a sukka, makes kiddush and havdala and does some things for Shabbos (but drives to shul on Shabbos, etc). Anyway, I have a hard time understanding how I’m supposed to view my father. When I was in shidduchim years ago, I was told by a Rav that I should not marry a Kohen because of this situation, but he also told me not to bring it up to anyone else. But there are just so many issues and I can’t ignore it forever! For example, he did walk my husband to the chuppah because I didn’t know that was a shailah.. And I have this vague memory that he once cooked food in my house…is that bishul akum and do my dishes need kashering (although I might just think this happened because he has asked me in the past if he could cook food in my house, but I don’t know if I ever actually let him)? And when he comes to visit, one of the local shuls sometimes gives him an Aliyah on Shabbos. Should my husband say something to them? And after 120, should I mention something to the chevra kedisha?
Any advice you have on this topic would be greatly appreciated!
Answer:
Hello,
Let me lay your concerns to rest. If and orthodox Bais Din in France, took care of his geirus, we can rely on them that they understand what they are doing, and therefore he is considered a Jew from all aspects. There was no issue with him walking you to the chuppah, what he cooked does not have to be kashered, and he can be buried in a Jewish cemetery etc.
Best wishes
