Question:
Shalom Alechem,
Both my wife and I are converts. We converted in different times in our lives before meeting. I converted when I was 19 and she converted with her parents at the age of 13 years old. She went a basis Yaakov. And a year after she graduated we got married. We have been married for almost 3 years. As we have been married to me she has revealed the truth to me that she only converted to make her parents happy. But she never really wanted to convert. And if she had the choice now she wouldn’t do it. Im aware that the Rambam brings that if one converted for an ulterior motive it is not a kosher conversion. My question here is she Jewish or not? And do you have any suggestions?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Answer:
Hello,
Your wife is Jewish, because at the time that she accepted to be Jew she was already considered an adult. The fact that she now says that she only did it to please her parents will not nullify the conversion. First of all, even if the conversion was done for ulterior motives, that is reason why we the bais din wouldn’t accept the ger, however in retrospect, if it was already done, the person is still considered a ger. Secondly, since they asked her and she agreed, what she thought in her mind, isn’t going to matter. Therefore, she and your children are all Jewish.
What is more important right now is the underlying reason why she is not happy. It might be related to your relationship with her, it might be due to outside stress and pressure. It is up to you to do whatever you can to make her happy.
Does she know how much Hashem loves geirim? That she is beloved by Hashem more than other Jews, because she chooses Hashem?
If you need any more help don’t hesitate to reach out to us.
Best wishes
