Question:
I was going away to Israel, and I decided not to stay in certain places because it reminded me of Aveirahs done there and I thought it would ruin my religious and hopefully uplifting experience if I would be reminded about it and have to think about it (improper thoughts) when I went there. I cannot remember if I verbalized it or not. I thought/said I could never stay in these places again for this reason. This happened a few times when I went away on different occasions.
Is this a neder? I now want to stay either in one of these places or a similar place where I once did wrong.
Answer:
Hello,
Before getting to the answer to your question, if you feel that staying in places will give you improper thoughts, then you should not stay there, whether what was done is technically a neder or not. This is what is best for your neshoma…
It is not possible for me to know if you verbalized not going to such places of not, however even if you did verbalize it, if you did hatoras nedarim, or if you say Kol Nidrei together with the chazzan on Yom Kippur, then we can rely on what you said, that it would not technically be a neder.
Best wishes
Sources:
ע’ בס’ כל נדרי פנ”ח הערה א’ וז”ל “אמנם בעיקר דין זה שאמירה לדבר מצוה נחשבת נדר גם אם לא אמר בלשון נדר יש לציין דלדעת הרבה פוסקים אפשר לסמוך לענין זה על מסירת המודעא דביטול הנדרים של ערב ראש השנה ובאמירת כל נדרי’ שכיון שגילה דעתו והתנה בפירוש שאינו רוצה כלל שיהיה נדר אין נעשה נדר מחמת אמירה גרידא שלא אמר בה לשון נדר וכנ”ל פרק נז סעיף ח ופרק עג הערה יז”.
