Question:
I have yahrzeit later this week for my son who tragically passed away two years ago at the age of 21, on first day Chanukah.
What are the minhagim regarding:
– Davening from the amud
– Saying Kaddish (please note that both my parents have passed away) – one kaddish after aleinu or all kaddeishim?
– Aliya latorah
– Visiting kever / reciting keil melei rachamim, should one go on chanukah or better on erev chanukah
These are topics that I have not found clearly in the poskim.
Answer:
Hello,
The only one who has the real obligation of Yahrtzeit is a child, neverthe less you may daven for the amud and say kaddish even though it is Chanukah. You can say as many kaddeishim as you like, (or are allowed).
You can get an aliya but you are not a chiyuv for one.
On Chanukah we don’t say kel malei, and visiting the kever should be done before Chanukah. it is fine to visit the kever within three days of the yahrtzeit.
Learning mishnayos saying tehillim and doing other mitzvos is all the same, and it is a zechus for the neshoma of the niftar. Personally I have a similar situation, on the second day of Chanukah it is my grandmothers yahrtzeit, and she didn’t leave any sons.
A frielichen Chanukah
Sources:
שולחן ערוך אורח חיים הלכות חנוכה סימן תרע סעיף ג
אין מספידין בהם אלא לחכם בפניו. הגה: ואין מתענין יום שמת בו אב או אם; ותענית חלום בחנוכה, ע”ל סימן תקס”ח סעיף ה’; ולענין צדוק הדין, ע”ל בהלכות ר”ח סי’ ת”כ בהגה, וע”ל סימן תרפ”ג. משנה ברורה שם ס”ק יב
(יב) ע”ל בהלכות ר”ח וכו’ – ששם כתב שא”א ביום שא”א בו תחנון וכן לקמן בסימן תרפ”ג ע”ש.
