Question:
Hello Rabbi,
I am 28 year’s old and I have been trying to get married but so far noone wants to marry me. I was working with a Shaddachan but no luck. I usually have a very Simcha approach to everything in life so I don’t like to complain about laking something because it is ungrateful to HaShem but it is also a mitvah to get married… I guess it just feels difficult sometimes because part of me feels like something is missing. The Zohar says a man is half a soul when single…It could be the problem is I live in Idaho…but plenty of Jews live in Idaho and are married. It seems like this generation is having a more difficult time finding Shidduchim then past generations….maybe there is commentary as to why that is? Is it because the satan is trying to prevent all the souls from coming down that would hasten the redemption? I heard all the souls have to come down before Moshiach can come. I hope I am not wasting your time with these questions. It just feels like maybe understanding this bizarre phenomenon of many people I know not being able to find a Shidduch would be helpful information.
Thank you.
Answer:
Hello,
Being single s very difficult and lonely, and I hope that Hashem will send you your zivug soon. We do not know the reasons, why Hashem does things aside from working on strengthening our emuna, that Hashem knows what is best for us. It might be an idea for you to move to a place where you have exposure to more people. I remember when I was getting close to shidduchim age, I went to R’ S. Volbe zt”l, to ask his advice whether I should go start shidduchim in Eretz Yisroel, etc. After asking me a few personal question, he determined that I should marry a girl whose family was based in America. Then he made an interesting comment, he said, “and where should you go to learn… “If you are looking for a shidduch, you should go to shuk hashidduchim (the sidduch marketplace)!” He meant the Lakewood Yeshiva, where there are many people looking for shidduch. I leaned from this that sometimes, a person should go to a place that there are more shidduch things happening there.
Hashem should help you find your zivug soon.
