Question:
I don’t like saying Av Harachmim on Shabbos because it was established as a result to horrible things against the Jews and Shabbos is a special time for the spreading of love; I do prefer to say this prayer spontaneously on regular weekdays on behalf of everyone requiring mercy; I want a hetter
Answer:
Hello,
I understand your feelings. The Shabbos is a joyful day, and we are not allowed to get sad on Shabbos. The idea of saying Av Harchamim, is not to remember the horrible things that were done to the Jews over the ages. Rather since Shabbos is the time of the week, when Hashem gives bracha to the world, we pray to Hashem that He should also send bracha to those tzaddikim. As a side point, it was instituted about a thousand years ago, after the crusades.
Although I understand your feelings, nevertheless we should not change or steer from the minhagim of Klal Yisroel, even if your point in valid! It is very dangerous to change from the minhagim that chazal gave us. The reason is that if each person decides on his own which minhagim he likes, and doesn’t like, it isn’t going to stop over there. One person will say, “I don’t like this minhag, or I don’t understand this minhag. Then it will spread to halachos; one person will say, this halacha is no longer relevant, or I don’t like this halacha. Then it will spread to doing the mitzvos… What will eventually happen is that the Torah that Hashem gave us will no longer be doing the will of Hashem, rather doing the will of each individual. Mitzvos will no longer be done because we were commanded by hashem to do so, rather because we personally decided that we like it. This is in fact what happened with the reform and conservative Judaism, and we now see what happened to them, a large percentage of them are not even married to Jews. So, what started off as deciding on which minhagim to keep eventually developed into people leaving the practice of the mitzvos altogether. Therefore, we are very cautious not to change minhagim, even if we don’t like the way they feel.
Best wishes
