Question:
Hi Rabbi
It is written that one should not be Messaper Im Isha Bashuk, gaze at immodest sights, be secluded with or even make hand or feet gestures at women, or even hear their singing or watch them dance even if those are made in the absence of lustful thoughts.
It feels like these restrictions push us to objectify women and see them as mere sexual objects and this enhances the chances of having lustful thoughts and get easily triggered
Answer:
Hello,
What you are writing is exactly what the Torah wants to prevent us from doing. When a man engages in idle chatter with women, gazes on them, and watches them dancing, even if he didn’t have lustful thoughts at the beginning, he will get them pretty soon. In fact, in the general society, where the interaction between men and women, have practically no boundaries, is precisely where the problem of women being seen as mere sexual objects, and that is why there is such a high degree of sex crimes, infidelity, extra marital relationship, spouses cheating on each other.
In the Torah society, the sexes are separated from each other so that they can each accomplish what they have to, and not that the natural human hormones should get stimulated unnecessarily in the wrong places. The male female relationship, is saved for the marriage, where it is keeps the love the partners have for each other flourishing, and it help produce normal stabilized families. In contrast to, environments where, the women are dressing immodestly, and interacting with the men on a constant basis, which as we see in our society today, that will automatically cause the men to look at them as sexual objects.
Best wishes
