Question:
Hello,
Let’s just say that you’re in a situation where it is not very possible for you to track down a certain individual you want to seek and ask Forgiveness from, and you really want to in order to do Teshuvah to the Person wronged with Love and Remorse. However, you have no way to track them down and talk to them in the first place.
Let’s just say you insulted the person. Is doing the Teshuvah of never insulting people again and being extra careful towards others feelings, to compliment them and make them feel loved and accepted, and being Favorable in the Eyes of other people a starting point?
Some sins are so severe that one has no share in the world to come, such as embarrassing someone in public. What can I do to apologize for embarrassing someone in public, especially if I don’t know them personally and can’t find them, thus asking for forgiveness?
Answer:
Hello,
Whenever a person commits a sin to another person, such as insulting them, essentially the person wronged, the person, whom was hurt, and it is also a sin to Hashem, as He is the one who commanded us not to do the sin. Therefore, there is a need to repent to Hashem and to seek forgiveness from the person that was wronged. For the part of teshuva to Hashem, by regretting what was done, saying viduy about this sin and by making sure not to insult people again, this would be fine. However, this will not help for the part of appeasing the other person.
Regarding this that a person who insults someone else loses their part in olam haba. This is only if the person did not do teshuva, and if the person did it often (offhand I don’t remember where this is written). However, if it is a one-time mistake, the person will not lose their olam haba for it.
In situations that one cannot track the offended person, what should be done, is to daven that somehow you are able to track the person down, or better yet, daven that the person should for the insult that they got. Other than that, the Vilna Gaon said that if a person tries his best to do teshuva, that Hashem will work it out that the person will be successful. Therefore, try whatever you can, and daven that Hashem help you out regarding this, and IY”H you will be helped.
Best wishes
