I happen to be factored into life from growing up originally in a reform jewish community. Now that I have become a ba’al teshuvah, I have seen many families which are intermarried and some actually have reform converted wives. I have no idea how the faith can exist in such a hard world when some of their children may have been jewish had the original marriage been with an orthodox conversion. Some of these non-jewish children have taken roles and friends in many of the reform jewish communities and assume that they are told easily that they can think that they are jews. As I am aware, they are not.
Does Torah forbid a soul to engage one of these children if the sanity is that one might have concerns about whether they would have wanted to be jewish in a society which should have existed with halacha? I would assume one or two might have been as angry as myself when I found other issues that the reform did to destroy my own neshama (failed and botched circumcision based on bris elimination and day 2 bris). I am curious if I will one day make a comment about halacha with one of these or perhaps a parent, but the scary thing is that the parents are very self-aggressive and do not often even say hello now that I am locating my sanity in orthodox judaism.
Still, it is a concern. The transfer of hate in our community is very bad. The world of all of our friends still continues to exist. Some are indeed jews and shun all halacha and do all things anti-orthdox such as toeivah and treif consumption among other things.
It is very bad. I can only wish that our faith had more awareness and rabbinical interest. The scared feelings I have had for my own faith and life continue due to a failed reform community (which should not exist) and a negative feeling among even family when it comes to Torah.
This is a constant dilemma and I could hope for more instruction.
I read your letter and it looks like you are having a hard time. We don’t know Hashem’s ways, but although things are very hard nowadays for many people because many of the conversions are not legitimate, however the Jews have been in worse situations and we will survive.
If I understand your question correctly; regarding marrying a child from such a family, if the children are Jews, and we may marry them. Obviously it would help them tremendously if they would get more educated as to what their religion and the torah is really about.
Regarding the hate that you are experiencing, in general if people will see you acting nicely and respectful to them, they will be move accepting to you. But if you find it difficult to live in such a community, maybe you should consider moving to a move orthodox area, where you will feel more comfortable.