Question:

I am a married woman and my father who lives afar is coming to visit my family for a short time.

  1. I understood that to give a full hug to a parent is not appropriate. Is that true? What if he comes to hug me?
  2. What about kol isha? If he wants to sing together (lets say with my children)

Thank you!!

Answer:

  1. It is not appropriate with a sister or a brother, but with a parent there is no problem with it, and it is permitted. Regarding you father hearing you singing, (a man hearing his daughter) when he is not davening or learning it is permitted, but not while he is davening or learning, this even applies to a man hearing his wife sing while he is davening or learning.
  2. Regarding  singing zemiros of shabbos at the table, your father can hear you singing the same way your husband can. You can not sing when he is davening or learning, but other times he can hear you sing. Regarding the family singing zemiros together, there are poskim who are stringent about this, and if you want to do like them, so you won’t sing then, but this will also apply to when it is only your husband there. Others however permit it, and say that singing zemiros is not like hearing singing, where the main part is the tune. By zemiros, they consider it as the main part is the saying of the words, together with a tune, and therefore don’t consider it singing, similar to when a family bentches together with a tune, the main part is the words, and there is a tune attached to the way it is said.

Sources:

1. Even Hoezer 21-7, Bais Shemuel ibid 14.

2. Yosef Ometz 602, Elya Rabbah 75:5, Tzitz Eliezer 7:28:3, Oz Nedberu 9:59:1, Teshuvos V’hanhugos, 1:138, V’ein Lumo Michshal 5:page 187, see Nishmas Avraham 5:pages 76-77,  Sredei Eish 1:77:pages 214-219 (new print), Rivevos Ephraim 1:205, Be’er Sarim 1:29, 2:54:3, Avnei Yishfei 2:5:4 quoting the opinion of Horav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l, Halichos Shlomo Tefilla 20:11, Ve’aleihu Lo Yeibol 2:page 183:10, Divrei Chachumim page 253, see Rivevos Ephraim 8:544. Avnei Yushfei 2:5:4 quoting the opinion of Horav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l).

Tags: HUgging kol isha

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