I have a very hard time not listening to music. Does my fathers neshama get affected when I listen to music during my year of availus?
Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’Yerushalayim.
You are asking a good question, but your question is really applicable to all hilchos aveilus. Is one’s father effected by them not going to a wedding, by not washing during shiva, etc.? The answer is that your father’s neshoma is affected in two ways by what you do. One of the reasons for the halachos of aveilus, is because a person’s neshoma goes thru a cleaning period, to clean away any aveiros, that were done during the person’s lifetime. The halachos of aveilus show that we are participating in their pain and difficulty. Secondly, the mere fact that you are keeping the halacha, is a zechus for your father’s neshoma, because he gets zechusim for every time you do a mitzva. Additionally, keeping the halachos are a form of kibbud ava v’em for the departed parent.
Having said that, if it is very hard for you and you have an emotional need to hear the music, it is permitted, however it should only be with headphones, and not in a public way.
שו”ת דברי שלום ח”ג פסקי הלכות פ’,