I was not feeling well and went to bed early leaving our son of 15 to put himself to bed, he needs and wants a reminder. I asked my husband what time he went to bed, he said isn’t it lashon hara, I said no this is for chinuch, so he told me 1:30am. I told my son I heard he went to bed at 1:30 and we discussed why and he told me he got carried away on the pc and so we spoke about solutions. My husband was furious with me, he said I spoke lashon hora and that I should have just asked him directly and I put him in a bad light. I don’t understand this at all, I did not think I spoke lashon hora please advise
You are both partially correct.
Parents are permitted to discuss issues regarding thier children, because it is for the toeles of thier chinuch, and it isn’t considered lashon hora. Additionally, what you hinted to your son by saying that you heard he went to bed at 1:30 was not rechilus, or lashon hora because it was all l’toeles. On the other hand it would have been better for you to have asked him, instead of saying that you heard it.