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chatziza- anxiety


I’m not really asking a question, but more in search of reassurance that what I did is okay-
I’ll start with that I’m already a few weeks post-mikveh and have conceived a baby, b”H.
Just before I went to the mikveh last time I had a bit of a loose bowel movement. I was already post-bath, so I tried cleaning myself well and then took a shower and then tried cleaning myself again with a wet tissue (but was clean anyway) and then took another shower because I was afraid that some tissue disintegrated and might have gotten stuck. I didn’t check myself with a tissue again but was fairly certain that I was clean at that point. But now that I’ve already conceived, I’m nervous that I might have missed something. My tevila was okay, right? I don’t want this anxiety to get in the way of a healthy pregnancy.
Please don’t give me reasons when you respond to my question. My yetzer hara will just grab ahold of them. 


Correct. You did just fine with your preparations, and there is absolutely no reason for you to be concerned. The only thing you should be concerned about is the OCD factor. It is important for a healthy baby to have a healthy mommy, and part of a healthy mommy is not having OCD. Therefore, it would be a good idea for you to get some help, to calm yourself down, so that you can become the best person and mommy that you can be. You seem to understand yourself and are in touch with yourself well, you just need to do whatever it takes to make sure that you stay calm. Do what you are supposed to do, but without being nervous, and second guessing yourself.

Hashem should help your pregnancy and birth go well, and your child should grow up to bring Hashem, your husband and yourself much nachas.

Best wishes

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