Question:
Some background information,
Initially I went to the mikvah motzai shabbos. I came home and noticed what might have been an issue and did not want to call our local halacha hotline or go back to the mikvah because it was midnight. So i stayed separated. I called the hotline about the issue Sunday and they said its fine. So all was fine until that evening I was looking in the mirror and noticed a few hairs on my chin that bothered me. I used a scissor to cut some of the longer ones I noticed (I didn’t want to pluck in case I decided to go back to my electrolysis lady this week whom I haven’t seen since pandemic started and was planning possibly at some point to start again before the 3 weeks). I personally don’t get rid of every single hair every single time. Its not that there is even alot, Only a few really bothersome ones. I definitely have gone in the past not caring as much. But recently I started caring more.. And then realized had I seen them or looked for them Friday or Motzei Shabbos I probably would have done the same thing or removed them all together. I only looked around a day later and realized I forgot about them and stayed separate from my husband for a second night thinking I left another chatzitza. The next day (Monday) I called our hotline and didn’t mention to them that I ended up shortening them (probably would consider removal to some degree), only that they really bothered me. He said its ok, He sounded a little hesitantly saying that but still said ok and that for for future try not to care so much. So we are no longer still separated. But now I read somewhere that something you are planning to remove anyway is a chatzitza. I was planning in general to start my electrolysis again. but had no specific day in mind to go back.. And I did not officially plan on removing the bothersome ones before mikvah simply because I forgot or didn’t notice. So after all this is my tevilla still valid? In general I am super OCD and always second guess everything niddah related and am embarrassed to keep calling our local hotline with so many questions. Thank you.
Answer:
The issue here is not the hairs, but your being super OCD, which is the real problem. If you got a pask that it is ok, you had no right to abstain from your husband, and your doing so was just because the yetzer hora thru your OCD got you all mixed up. According to numerous gedolim, if you know that you have an issue with OCD the way you have to do things in such a situation, is to ask your question and then if the psak is that it is alright, do not think about it at all after that. Even if you feel guilty about it because maybe, maybe … force yourself to do what the gedolim say, and that is your mitzvah. We have a mitzvah to listen to the chachamim, and if we do so, then H-shem will be happy with us. This is because whatever comes out of the situation you will be alright. If it is permitted, then you will get a mitzva of listening to the chachamim, and even if let say they are wrong… (or you are afraid that maybe…) you will not be blamed for it in shomayim. Horav Zaidel Epstein zt”l told me that a person that listens to the gedolim, even if in reality a mistake was made, you are not blamed for it. Therefore after you asked your shailo, you are obligated to ignore any feelings that you have afterwards. IY”H after doing this for a little while, you will see that this yetzer hora will subside, and you won’t be so overtaken by it.
Best wishes
