Question:
My husband’s mother wants to know. For how many children I with her son can she add that many candles when she lights her candles Friday night?
Answer:
Hello,
There is a minhag that many women have to light an extra candle for each child. The sources of the minhag is based on the gemora that says that a person who is careful regarding candle lighting will merit having children who will be talmidei chachamim. Therefore, each candle is a sort of tefillah that each one of them should grow up to be a talmid chacham, and that the girls should marry a talmid chacham. Therefore the custm is not to add a candle for a daughter in law, as she would be included in the candle for her son. Regarding adding a candle for grandchildren, although this is not the general custom, if she wants to, she may. Before starting to do this, she should specify that it is bli neder, and that if she wants to stop at any point she may. (You never know, maybe she will have 50 or more grandchildren…)
Best wishes
Sources:
טעם למוסיפים נר לכל בני הבית ע’ ליקוטי מהרי”ח שמנהג הנשים כאשר נולד להם בן או בת מוסיפין נר א’ וסמך לדבר משום דאמרינן בפ’ במה מדליקין דבשכר שמרבין בנרות עי”ז יזכו לבנין רבנן וחתנין רבנן ע”ש לכך …שעי”ז יזכו לבנים רבנן וחתנין ת”ח, וע’ שבות יצחק ח”ח שכמו בחנוכה יש חיוב להדליק נר א’ ומהדרין להדליק נר א’ לכל א’ מבני הבית מהדרין כמו כן בשבת כך.
