Question: שלום אני מגיע לקראת סוף הי”ב חדש של אבילות לאבי ז”ל שנפטר בצום גדלי’ שעבר. רציתי לדעת אם יש מה שהוא מיוחד ליום שנגמר אבילות בשנה מעוברת שאניו יום… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Can one buy shoes if necessary during the year of mourning?
Question: Can one buy shoes if necessary during the year of mourning? Answer: According to many poskim, it is permitted to buy shoes during the year of mourning and it… Read more »
How long is a parent an avel for a son?
Question: How long is a parent an avel for a son? Answer: A parent never forgets thier child, nevertheless regarding the halachos of aveilus all aveilim finish thier aveilus at… Read more »
last day of kaddish
Question: What are the halachos of the last day for saying kaddish (11 months) for a parent ? If the minhag in a shul is to have only one person… Read more »
If I missed the yahrtzeit, is there any significance in going 3 days later?
Question: Today was my son’s 11th yahrtzeit. I was unable to go to the kever due to another child being in the hospital and being discharged only today. (My family… Read more »
ovel attending grandsons barmitzvah
Question: can a grandmother attend a seudas barmitzvah of her grandson if she is in aveilus for her mother but after the shloshim period? there will be no music there… Read more »
Avel visiting married children
Question: Hi, Our mother/mother-in-law is coming to our home for a visit. She in in the first year of aveilus. Are there are any halachos we should know about when… Read more »
Is a person allowed to go a vort while in avelus?
Question: Is a person allowed to go a vort while in avelus? Answer: You can go in for a short time to wish mazal tov, and even have something light… Read more »
Do I say yiskor in first year of avel or not
Question: Do I say yiskor in first year of avel or not Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. There are different minhagim and many people have the… Read more »
swimming after shloshim during the summer
Question: Can I go swimming after shloshim in the summer? Answer: Yes. An avel in the year of mourning may go swimming, the same way that showering is permitted. It… Read more »
Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit?
Question: Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit? Answer: An avel, even during shiva is allowed to make a shehechiyanu, as there are… Read more »
Yartzeit
Question: Is one allowed to fly on a plane to go on vacation on the day of his/her mother’s Yartzeit especially if the son of the mother will miss saying… Read more »
Accepting gifts during the first year of mourning
Question: My father passed away two weeks ago. My friend is going on vacation to Europe, and she usually brings me gifts from her travels. Can I accept her gift?… Read more »
How long do I say kaddish for?
Question: Shalom Rabbi. I have a serious problem. My mother passed away last year. I’ve been saying Kadish for her soul ever since 3 times a day plus when I… Read more »
Attending a football match during avelus for a father
Question: My boyfriend and I split up but he said he wished he could talk to me. Unfortunately there is no regular minyan in my town. His avelus ends in… Read more »
Can a Rebbe who is in aveilus for a parent, go to his students bar mitzvas?
Question: Can a Rebbe who is in aveilus for a parent, go to his students bar mitzvas? Answer: He can attend the bar mitzva, but in a limited manner. He… Read more »
Can a zeidy who is in aveilus for a parent, attend the bris of a grandson?
Question: Can a zeidy who is in aveilus for a parent, attend the bris of a grandson? Answer: A zeidy who is in aveuilus may attend his grandsons bris. He… Read more »
Calculating Sheloshim
Question: I cannot determine whether Pesach ended my period of Sheloshim or not. I believe it has to do with whether or not my period of shiva had already ended…. Read more »
Saying kaddish during aveilus on day of yahrtziet of the other parent
Question: I am in the year of Aveilus for my mother, my Father’s Z”L yortziet is coming up when I daven before the amud and say Kaddish do I say… Read more »
Mourning Customs for person whose father was not Jewish
Question: How should I conduct myself for my non Jewish father (my mother was Jewish) concerning halachot of mourning for parent. The community I live in are not aware my… Read more »
Shabbos meal during year of aveilus for a parent
Question: My father passed away 3 months ago, am i allowed to partake in a shabbos meal at my Shul with my husband and family and the rest of the… Read more »
Granddaughter wedding
Question: If a grandmother dies, can a granddaughter have music at her wedding after shiva but before shloshim Answer: Please see the following post. http://dinonline.org/2019/03/22/avel-and-daughters-wedding/ Best Wishes Sources:
Avel and daughters wedding
Question: Can an avel be at his daughters wedding that has music, after shiva before shloshim? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem btoch shar aveili tzion vyerushlayim. Regarding your question, the father… Read more »
Kel maleh rachamim for parent’s yahrtziet in Nissan
Question: Dea Rabbi, I have yahrtzeit for a parent on the 5th of Nissan. I am aware during Nissan we do not say the kel maleh rachamim prayer for the… Read more »
Kaddish or Mishnayos?
Question: I live in Israel and my uncle who was in USA was niftar a few days ago at age 96. He was not frum. His only son is not… Read more »
ז״ל for a woman
Question: At the end of his comment on https://blog.nli.org.il/en/danny-kaye/ Barry Steinhart writes “one doesn’t write ז״ל on a woman and especially a secular one”. Is either statement correct? Answer: I… Read more »
Professional singer during avelut
Question: To a professional singer is died a father. He have a job, but without the money that he will gain with the singer job, (wedding and bar mitsvà) he… Read more »
Unveiling between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur
Question: My wife and daughter passed away in mid-October of 2018. We are thinking of having the unveiling of their tombstones on Sunday, Oct. 6th 2019 – which falls during… Read more »
Writing Kvitels
Question: There is a custom of people davening at kivrei tzadikim. There are some that write letters or kvitelach and kivrei tzadikim (for ex. at the kever of various rebbes z”l… Read more »
Aveilus for grandchildren
Question: Funeral is tomorrow, Sunday for my elderly mother in law on the other coast, and I won’t be present at funeral. WHAT are the mourning customs for grown grandchild… Read more »
Kaddish during avalus
Question: I am in Avelus for my mother, if I have davened Mincha already and go to a different shul to daven maariv, if there is a mynion still davening… Read more »
Ovel going to granddaughter’s Sheva Brachos
Question: My daughter is IY”H making a wedding, I will be invited to Sheva Brachos after, can I as a Zeidy go the Sheva Brochos during the week after, and… Read more »
Calulating shloshim
Question: My parent died at moon on the 8th of shevat and was buried at noon on the 9 th of shvat. What is the final day of shloshim Answer:… Read more »
Can a Gabai During Shiva Stand as Sgan on Shabbos
Question: Can a Gabai During Shiva Stand as Sgan on Shabbos. If he doesn’t take his position, is that not aveilus in public as it would be very noticeable if… Read more »
Avelus question
Question: I am in Avelus for my mother a”h, my wifes nephew is getting married, what is my halacha for the weddings, eating at kabalos Ponim, staying for chupa, and… Read more »
YARZEIT ADAR leap year
Question: In a leap year, when should one “celebrate” a yarzeit in ADAR 1 or ADAR 2 when a parent passed away in a non leap-year YEAR? Are their different… Read more »
attending a funeral at a reform temple
Question: My mother’s funeral is tomorrow– at a reform temple. I am going, because of peace in the family. When we announce the shiva, may we announce the levaya as… Read more »
Receiving Workplace Gifts during the Year of Mourning for a Parent
Question: My place of work recently had an event which I couldn’t attend, where they gave a gift to all their employees. I’ve now been informed that the gift is… Read more »
Taanis Yachid on sunday
Question: I have a Yartzeit on Motzei Shabbos-Sunday. How do I go about accepting it at Mincha Shabbos afternoon? Is it a problem of Hachana? Where can I find this… Read more »
Yahrzeit candles
Question: Dear Rabbi, What must be known of the halacha of yahrzeit. Must a candle be lit at a time specific. Can you light early or prefer a sunrise lighting… Read more »
dinei aveilus
Question: Is new linen permitted during the year of aveilus for a parent? Answer: Yes. Linens are considered new items, and not new clothing, therefore they are permitted during aveilus…. Read more »
Can a person in aveilut for a parent attend a chuppah?
Question: Can a person in aveilut for a parent attend a chuppah? Answer: Yes., you can attend the chuppah but under two conditions. One is that the chuppah is not… Read more »
Attending a Pidyon Haben on a Yahrtziet
Question: I have been invited to pidyon haben of family and it is on the yahrzeit of my mother. Can I go or not? Answer: You may go to… Read more »
Level of uncomfort during shiva
Question: My father has recently passed and I am currently sitting shiva. However, I am in my 5th day of not bathing and my skin is very itchy and making… Read more »
Sitting Shiva for a Non-Frum Sibling
Question: Must I sit shiva for my sister who is not shomer mitzvos? She grew up in a religious home but now as an adult she says, in effect, it… Read more »
playing piano during aveilus
Question: I am at the beginning of my aveilus for my father, z”l and I am a piano player. I’m not a professional, but it is s significant hobby. When… Read more »
Marital Relationship after Shiva
Question: Can one have sex as a woman during shiva? or how long after shiva can one have sex? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. Regarding your question, the laws… Read more »
Does an Ovel daven for the omud on Rosh Chodesh
Question: Does an Ovel daven for the omud on Rosh Chodesh? Answer: An ovel does not daven on Rosh Chodesh since it is a day that we don’t say “lam’natzyach”…. Read more »
seudah of bar mitvah on fathers yortzeit
Question: Can I attend a seudah of a friend’s bar mitzvah on my father’s yortziet? ראיתי בש”ך שאין לאכול בסעודת משתה ושמחה ביום היארצייט. השאלה היא אם זהו בכלל סעודת… Read more »
Can I travel to Israel during my year of Aveilut for my father z’l
Question: My husband will be in Israel for for 3 weeks for business and I would like to join him for part of the time. I am allowed to travel… Read more »