Question: My mother died 3 months ago. Can I attend a close family friend’s funeral? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eshchem btoch shar aveilei Zion V’yerushalayim. Yes you can. There is no… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Does a nefel have a nefesh
Question: Is there an inyan to say tehilim or give tzedaka or do mitzvos liluyi nishmas a nefel (who was given a name and buried) or is it considered in… Read more »
Calculating Shloshim after Shevuos
Question: Shiva for my father began during the day on Sunday, May 24, 2020. Shavuos “stopped the Shiva” a few days later. When will the Sh’loshim end for me, in… Read more »
Misibah, Hazkarah, Kaddish, Visit the grave when Yom Tov cancels Shloshim
Question: If someone passed was buried erev chag Shavuout, I understand that the spouse mourning ends before 30 calendar days (shiva 1 day=7 days + chag = 7 days, +… Read more »
Fasting when yartzheit is on Shabbos
Question: For someone who is Ashkenazi and usually fasts on one’s father’s yartzheit, if it comes out on Shabbos this year, do we not fast at all or do we… Read more »
How long is availus for a brother?
Question: how long is availus for a brother? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem btoch shar aveiliy Tzion V’yerushalayiom. The aveilus period for all relative, except a parent, is for thirty days…. Read more »
Gifts During Aveilus
Question: Is there a manner in which I or my children may purchase for my wife a birthday gift during her year of aveilus for her father? Does it make… Read more »
Kaddish for 1st wife
Question: I was married for many years to my first wife who died childless. Since her death 5 years ago I have been saying Kaddish daily. I remarried almost 3… Read more »
Giving Gifts to aveilim.
Question: Are you allowed to give a gift to someone that is in aveilus for their father? And if not, is a photo book considered a gift that one is… Read more »
Calculating Shloshim
Question: My mother passed away on Shabbos haGadol, Yud Nissan (April 4) and was buried motsei Shabbos yud-alef Nissan (before midnight April 4). as Pesach interrupted shiva, has shloshim already… Read more »
What dates should you avoid arranging a matzeivah?
Question: Apart from Chol HaMoed, are there any other dates that it is not recommended to arrange a matzeivah? Answer: To do the actual erecting and say tehillim at that… Read more »
When to start avelus
Question: Relative died in America. I am in Israel. Cannot go to funeral because of corona. They might consult me about burial (where to did it ect.) When does ז’… Read more »
Aveilus for person who was niftar from Corona
Question: Thank you so much for your reply. This machla has been devastating to klal Yisroel. So, in regard to my question. In the Mourning in Halacha book on page… Read more »
Shloshim ending early due to pesach?
Question: My father passed away last week and was buried on 20 March 2020. The Shiva has just ended and the Shloshim would usually end on 18 April (I think)… Read more »
Relations while parent is sitting shiva
Question: Can I have marital relations when my mother is sitting Shiva? Answer: Yes it is permitted, as the restrictions on a person who has a relative sitting shiva are… Read more »
haircut on a yahrzeit
Question: May I get a haircut on the day of my father’s yahrzeit? (It.s not the first one.) Many thanks Answer: It is permitted for a person to get a… Read more »
kel moleh rachamim
Question: When making reference to the nifter during keil malei rachamim is it ploni ben/bas mother or father? Answer: Thank you for your question. The Ashkenazi minhag (including chassidim) is… Read more »
What possible reasons would a burial and matzeva be moved elsewhere?
Question: My wife was nifter over two years ago. Directly behind her plot I recognized the name of a person I worked with back in the mid-1960s. My last recent… Read more »
Aveilus
Question: On the day of my father’s Yahrzeit can i go to my grandson’s Bar Mitzvah with Music and dance? I see the Rov writes not to a chasuna, Is… Read more »
Kiddush donation for a yahrzeit
Question: The yahrzeit Of my mother a”h is Tévet 26th. What is the better minhag : to donate the breakfast at the synagogue on the yahrzeit day so brachot could… Read more »
Bais Hachaim
Question: Hello, could you please provide me the source in halacha that a woman is not allowed to go to the kevurah of a niftar? I think I remember hearing… Read more »
Nichum Aveilim
Question: Shalom Harav I like to send a text to a rabbi who is sitting shiva who just lost his son since I can’t attend being too far what’s the… Read more »
Talit buried
Question: BS”D Shalom dear Rabbi, Question: A fearful Jew can be buried with his talit, tefillin and tzitzit? Answer: Many of the minhagim that are done to the niftar and… Read more »
Watching TV/playing games on tablet during Shloshim and the year
Question: During Shloshim and the Year, while mourning for my mother, may I watch television or movies at home, and/or play games on my tablet either alone or with friends?… Read more »
Aveilus
Question: Is a mourner allowed to sit in a regular chair while eating a meal – both seudas ha’vraah and all other meals during shiva? Answer: The mourner sits on… Read more »
purchasing a watch
Question: As an Avel for a parent, can I purchase a wrist watch? Answer: If it is needed, it is permitted for an avel to buy a wrist watch and… Read more »
Listening to ambient music during aveilus
Question: During the year of mourning for a parent, is it permissible to listen to the so called “ambient” music, which is not really music but sounds, often repetitive, played… Read more »
Can I invite guests for shabbat meal during year of avelut for my father
Question: Can I invite guests for shabbat meal during year of avelut for my father Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei Tzion v’Yerushalayim Regarding your question, it is permitted,… Read more »
playing in an orchestra during aveilut
Question: Hi, A congregant of mine recently learned to play the violin (during the last 4 years). Since then he has been invited to join an orchestra for people learning… Read more »
When would Shloshim Be
Question: My uncle was buried the first second day of Succos (on Yom Tov itself). When would the shloshim be? Answer: The morning of 20th of Cheshvan would be the… Read more »
Grandmother during sheloshim at grandchild’s vort
Question: Can a women in Avelus still in the shloshim for her father go to a granddaughters vort and if yes can she have a manicure and get her face… Read more »
Relieving oneself near Jewish graves
Question: please help me and clarify this question. a friend of mine. who is good jew, we went together to kever tsaddikim to visit in Ukraine. and he wanted to… Read more »
Children attend simchos when a parent is sitting shiva
Question: Can children attend a Simcha when their parent is sitting shiva Answer: The halachos of “misablim imo” that the child or relative of a mourner, mourns together with them,… Read more »
yahrtzeit seuda
Question: My father z”l’s 1st yahrtzeit is coming up on Tzom Gedala. When should the seudas yartzeit/siyum take place? Motzei Rosh hashana, very late and after 2 days of eating… Read more »
Learning mishnayos for two people
Question: Again sorry for asking a third time My question was actually concerning learning mishnayos for my parents who were nifter a few months apart, I tell the family to… Read more »
laws of mourning
Question: Hello, Thank you so much for your help. The question relates to a daughter of a Jewish mother and non-Jewish father. When the father passes away, is the daughter… Read more »
Going to a close friend’s son’s aufruf
Question: Going to a close friend’s son’s aufruf 1. The kiddush in shul – not a sit down. 2. A luncheon with several tables. Answer: My apologies that it took… Read more »
A child mourning the death of a parent
Question: Is it permitted to purchase a new car for oneself or to request it as a gift during the year after the loss of a parent, purely for pleasure… Read more »
aveilut
Question: שלום אני מגיע לקראת סוף הי”ב חדש של אבילות לאבי ז”ל שנפטר בצום גדלי’ שעבר. רציתי לדעת אם יש מה שהוא מיוחד ליום שנגמר אבילות בשנה מעוברת שאניו יום… Read more »
Can one buy shoes if necessary during the year of mourning?
Question: Can one buy shoes if necessary during the year of mourning? Answer: According to many poskim, it is permitted to buy shoes during the year of mourning and it… Read more »
How long is a parent an avel for a son?
Question: How long is a parent an avel for a son? Answer: A parent never forgets thier child, nevertheless regarding the halachos of aveilus all aveilim finish thier aveilus at… Read more »
last day of kaddish
Question: What are the halachos of the last day for saying kaddish (11 months) for a parent ? If the minhag in a shul is to have only one person… Read more »
If I missed the yahrtzeit, is there any significance in going 3 days later?
Question: Today was my son’s 11th yahrtzeit. I was unable to go to the kever due to another child being in the hospital and being discharged only today. (My family… Read more »
ovel attending grandsons barmitzvah
Question: can a grandmother attend a seudas barmitzvah of her grandson if she is in aveilus for her mother but after the shloshim period? there will be no music there… Read more »
Avel visiting married children
Question: Hi, Our mother/mother-in-law is coming to our home for a visit. She in in the first year of aveilus. Are there are any halachos we should know about when… Read more »
Is a person allowed to go a vort while in avelus?
Question: Is a person allowed to go a vort while in avelus? Answer: You can go in for a short time to wish mazal tov, and even have something light… Read more »
Do I say yiskor in first year of avel or not
Question: Do I say yiskor in first year of avel or not Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. There are different minhagim and many people have the… Read more »
swimming after shloshim during the summer
Question: Can I go swimming after shloshim in the summer? Answer: Yes. An avel in the year of mourning may go swimming, the same way that showering is permitted. It… Read more »
Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit?
Question: Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit? Answer: An avel, even during shiva is allowed to make a shehechiyanu, as there are… Read more »
Yartzeit
Question: Is one allowed to fly on a plane to go on vacation on the day of his/her mother’s Yartzeit especially if the son of the mother will miss saying… Read more »