Question: Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit? Answer: An avel, even during shiva is allowed to make a shehechiyanu, as there are… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Yartzeit
Question: Is one allowed to fly on a plane to go on vacation on the day of his/her mother’s Yartzeit especially if the son of the mother will miss saying… Read more »
Accepting gifts during the first year of mourning
Question: My father passed away two weeks ago. My friend is going on vacation to Europe, and she usually brings me gifts from her travels. Can I accept her gift?… Read more »
How long do I say kaddish for?
Question: Shalom Rabbi. I have a serious problem. My mother passed away last year. I’ve been saying Kadish for her soul ever since 3 times a day plus when I… Read more »
Attending a football match during avelus for a father
Question: My boyfriend and I split up but he said he wished he could talk to me. Unfortunately there is no regular minyan in my town. His avelus ends in… Read more »
Can a Rebbe who is in aveilus for a parent, go to his students bar mitzvas?
Question: Can a Rebbe who is in aveilus for a parent, go to his students bar mitzvas? Answer: He can attend the bar mitzva, but in a limited manner. He… Read more »
Can a zeidy who is in aveilus for a parent, attend the bris of a grandson?
Question: Can a zeidy who is in aveilus for a parent, attend the bris of a grandson? Answer: A zeidy who is in aveuilus may attend his grandsons bris. He… Read more »
Calculating Sheloshim
Question: I cannot determine whether Pesach ended my period of Sheloshim or not. I believe it has to do with whether or not my period of shiva had already ended…. Read more »
Saying kaddish during aveilus on day of yahrtziet of the other parent
Question: I am in the year of Aveilus for my mother, my Father’s Z”L yortziet is coming up when I daven before the amud and say Kaddish do I say… Read more »
Mourning Customs for person whose father was not Jewish
Question: How should I conduct myself for my non Jewish father (my mother was Jewish) concerning halachot of mourning for parent. The community I live in are not aware my… Read more »
Shabbos meal during year of aveilus for a parent
Question: My father passed away 3 months ago, am i allowed to partake in a shabbos meal at my Shul with my husband and family and the rest of the… Read more »
Granddaughter wedding
Question: If a grandmother dies, can a granddaughter have music at her wedding after shiva but before shloshim Answer: Please see the following post. http://dinonline.org/2019/03/22/avel-and-daughters-wedding/ Best Wishes Sources:
Avel and daughters wedding
Question: Can an avel be at his daughters wedding that has music, after shiva before shloshim? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem btoch shar aveili tzion vyerushlayim. Regarding your question, the father… Read more »
Kel maleh rachamim for parent’s yahrtziet in Nissan
Question: Dea Rabbi, I have yahrtzeit for a parent on the 5th of Nissan. I am aware during Nissan we do not say the kel maleh rachamim prayer for the… Read more »
Kaddish or Mishnayos?
Question: I live in Israel and my uncle who was in USA was niftar a few days ago at age 96. He was not frum. His only son is not… Read more »
ז״ל for a woman
Question: At the end of his comment on https://blog.nli.org.il/en/danny-kaye/ Barry Steinhart writes “one doesn’t write ז״ל on a woman and especially a secular one”. Is either statement correct? Answer: I… Read more »
Professional singer during avelut
Question: To a professional singer is died a father. He have a job, but without the money that he will gain with the singer job, (wedding and bar mitsvà) he… Read more »
Unveiling between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur
Question: My wife and daughter passed away in mid-October of 2018. We are thinking of having the unveiling of their tombstones on Sunday, Oct. 6th 2019 – which falls during… Read more »
Writing Kvitels
Question: There is a custom of people davening at kivrei tzadikim. There are some that write letters or kvitelach and kivrei tzadikim (for ex. at the kever of various rebbes z”l… Read more »
Aveilus for grandchildren
Question: Funeral is tomorrow, Sunday for my elderly mother in law on the other coast, and I won’t be present at funeral. WHAT are the mourning customs for grown grandchild… Read more »
Kaddish during avalus
Question: I am in Avelus for my mother, if I have davened Mincha already and go to a different shul to daven maariv, if there is a mynion still davening… Read more »
Ovel going to granddaughter’s Sheva Brachos
Question: My daughter is IY”H making a wedding, I will be invited to Sheva Brachos after, can I as a Zeidy go the Sheva Brochos during the week after, and… Read more »
Calulating shloshim
Question: My parent died at moon on the 8th of shevat and was buried at noon on the 9 th of shvat. What is the final day of shloshim Answer:… Read more »
Can a Gabai During Shiva Stand as Sgan on Shabbos
Question: Can a Gabai During Shiva Stand as Sgan on Shabbos. If he doesn’t take his position, is that not aveilus in public as it would be very noticeable if… Read more »
Avelus question
Question: I am in Avelus for my mother a”h, my wifes nephew is getting married, what is my halacha for the weddings, eating at kabalos Ponim, staying for chupa, and… Read more »
YARZEIT ADAR leap year
Question: In a leap year, when should one “celebrate” a yarzeit in ADAR 1 or ADAR 2 when a parent passed away in a non leap-year YEAR? Are their different… Read more »
attending a funeral at a reform temple
Question: My mother’s funeral is tomorrow– at a reform temple. I am going, because of peace in the family. When we announce the shiva, may we announce the levaya as… Read more »
Receiving Workplace Gifts during the Year of Mourning for a Parent
Question: My place of work recently had an event which I couldn’t attend, where they gave a gift to all their employees. I’ve now been informed that the gift is… Read more »
Taanis Yachid on sunday
Question: I have a Yartzeit on Motzei Shabbos-Sunday. How do I go about accepting it at Mincha Shabbos afternoon? Is it a problem of Hachana? Where can I find this… Read more »
Yahrzeit candles
Question: Dear Rabbi, What must be known of the halacha of yahrzeit. Must a candle be lit at a time specific. Can you light early or prefer a sunrise lighting… Read more »
dinei aveilus
Question: Is new linen permitted during the year of aveilus for a parent? Answer: Yes. Linens are considered new items, and not new clothing, therefore they are permitted during aveilus…. Read more »
Can a person in aveilut for a parent attend a chuppah?
Question: Can a person in aveilut for a parent attend a chuppah? Answer: Yes., you can attend the chuppah but under two conditions. One is that the chuppah is not… Read more »
Attending a Pidyon Haben on a Yahrtziet
Question: I have been invited to pidyon haben of family and it is on the yahrzeit of my mother. Can I go or not? Answer: You may go to… Read more »
Level of uncomfort during shiva
Question: My father has recently passed and I am currently sitting shiva. However, I am in my 5th day of not bathing and my skin is very itchy and making… Read more »
Sitting Shiva for a Non-Frum Sibling
Question: Must I sit shiva for my sister who is not shomer mitzvos? She grew up in a religious home but now as an adult she says, in effect, it… Read more »
playing piano during aveilus
Question: I am at the beginning of my aveilus for my father, z”l and I am a piano player. I’m not a professional, but it is s significant hobby. When… Read more »
Marital Relationship after Shiva
Question: Can one have sex as a woman during shiva? or how long after shiva can one have sex? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. Regarding your question, the laws… Read more »
Does an Ovel daven for the omud on Rosh Chodesh
Question: Does an Ovel daven for the omud on Rosh Chodesh? Answer: An ovel does not daven on Rosh Chodesh since it is a day that we don’t say “lam’natzyach”…. Read more »
seudah of bar mitvah on fathers yortzeit
Question: Can I attend a seudah of a friend’s bar mitzvah on my father’s yortziet? ראיתי בש”ך שאין לאכול בסעודת משתה ושמחה ביום היארצייט. השאלה היא אם זהו בכלל סעודת… Read more »
Can I travel to Israel during my year of Aveilut for my father z’l
Question: My husband will be in Israel for for 3 weeks for business and I would like to join him for part of the time. I am allowed to travel… Read more »
Spelling out the name of the niftar by a matzeivah
Question: when one says tehillim by a matzeivah spelling out the name of the niftar, does one spell out the name of the father too, i.e. ploni ben ploni or… Read more »
Mother’s name on matzeva and not father’s name
Question: I recently saw many tombstone inscriptions from Bratislava (Pressburg), and all mention the mother’s name and not the father. I’d like to know the source & origin of the… Read more »
Daven at kivrei tzadikim at night
Question: Can one daven at a kever at night? Answer: It is permitted to daven at a kever at night, especially at kivrei tzadikim, as is the minhag to daven… Read more »
Visiting a kever
Question: Does a child in a year of aveilut for a parent visit their grave before Yom Kippur? Answer: A child may go to the grave of a parent during… Read more »
Unveiling Ceremony for Temporary Headstone
Question: My family is trying to arrange an unveiling ceremony for our mother, a”h. Unfortunately, the company the cemetery uses to make the headstones does sloppy work, and we’ve had… Read more »
Hallel recited in house of mourning
Question: Is hallel recited on Rosh Hodesh in a shiva house? Answer: Under normal circumstances Hallel is not recited in the shiva house. Sources: Divrei Sofrim 27-80
leading the funeral and saying Kaddish
Question: About leading the funeral and saying Kaddish: We had a funeral in a Kehila, and instead of the regular Rabbi they had an apprentice Rabbi Student , around 20… Read more »
Aveilus for community activist
Question: I am a community activist I am in the shloshim for my father a’h can I go to political events with food? Can I eat there and is after… Read more »
Relations on yahrtzeit
Question: Are relations permitted on the night when one spouse has yartzeit for a parent? The spouse w/o yartzeit is returning from a long trip that day. Answer: Yes they… Read more »
Outing during Availus
Question: Is one permitted to go to a ballgame during availus? Answer: Without getting into the issue weather one should or shouldn’t attend a ballgame, regarding aveilus, it is hard… Read more »