Question: A grandmother died and will be buried on Friday before har grandson’s becoming a Bar Mitzvah. Does the family proceed with the Shabbat program as planned? Will the children… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Visiting Cemetery on Chol hamoed
Question: Can you visit the cemetery between the first two days of Succos and Simchas Torah? Answer: The minhag is not to visit the cemetery during Chol Hamoed. Therefore you… Read more »
May I visit my mothers grave Friday -Her yurzeit is shabboss
Question: May I visit my mother’s grave on Friday – her yurzeit is shabbos Answer: Yes, but it should preferably be done before chatzos.
Avelus for a child vs parent
Question: I’ve been asked why is it that avelus for a child is only one month when it is a lot more painful than losing a parent where avelus is… Read more »
May I go away for a family vacation/shabbos during shloshim for my mom
Question: May I go away for a family vacation/shabbos during the shloshim for my mom.We usually go away only in the summer as the kids are off and wont be… Read more »
Music during year after passing of a parent when doing exercise
Question: My mother passed away a few weeks ago. I would listen to music on a small ipod at the gym as a diversion while working out. Although I listened… Read more »
If I buy a new sheital in the year of aveilus, does someone else have to wear it before me?
Question: I bought a new sheital in my year of aveilus intending for a friend to wear it for 2 days before myself, however the sheital has obviously been tried… Read more »
Food from shiva house
Question: My neighbor gave me the food from his shiva house that was leftover I was holding it for someone else needy. The needy person turns out doesn’t need it… Read more »
Buying a new shaitel
Question: Can I buy a sheitel during the shiloshim for my Mother Answer: Hamakom Yinachem Eschem b’toal aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim Regarding your question, the minhag is that an avel doesn’t… Read more »
Singing during aveilus
Question: During the year of mourning is it permissible to sing to a child or yourself? Answer: My apologies that it took so long to get back to you. It… Read more »
Yartzeit Kaddish for an Aunt
Question: If I missed saying Kaddish on my Aunts Yartzeit last week and no one else said Kaddish.Is it advisable/ recommened to simply say one Kadish now? Answer: It isn’t… Read more »
Birchas Kohanim – Beis H’avel
Question: In chutz l’aretz, if someone other than the avel is davening for the amud (for example, on Rosh Chodesh) does the chazan say Alokeinu V’alkei Avosaino etc. (birchas kohanim)… Read more »
Washing hands after funeral
Question: Is one allowed to wash their hands after a funeral inside a building that is not a residential building? (For example, washing one’s hands in a shul, yeshiva, restaurant,… Read more »
During the year of aveilus is it permitted to go to the engagement of a great nephew?
Question: During the year of aveilus is it permitted to go to the engagement of a great nephew (my brothers grandson)? Answer: There are different opinions to this. However he… Read more »
Swimming/ going to the beach or pool during after shiva
Question: Can one mourning a parent swim after the shiva period/ during the 30 day or 12 month? Answer: During shloshim the avel should not go swimming if it is… Read more »
Does Shavuot take over Shloshim? May I shave and cut my nails?
Question: I am in Shloshim for my mother. I have been told that for a parent, Shavuot does not take over Sheloshim and I may still not shave or cut… Read more »
My husband is an onen, can I go to a simcha?
Question: My husband just lost his brother but they doing tests so levaya won’t be for another 2days. I have my cousins engagement tonight am I permitted to go? Answer:… Read more »
Stand up comedy during availut
Question: If it permissible to watch live stand-up comedy during year of mourning for a parent? Answer: In general this would be included in the prohibition not to do things… Read more »
Akdamus by an avel
Question: Can someone who is in Yud Bes Chodesh lead Akdamus on Shavuos? Answer: It is permitted or an avel to read the akdomus on Shavous. The reason is since… Read more »
Minyan restricting aveilim
Question: Can a minyan have a policy that aveilim don’t have precedence for being shaliach tzibur? The question concerns a “teen minyan” which has been established to give bochurim a… Read more »
Does Lag B’omer allow someone in shloshim to shave?
Question: Does Lag B’omer allow someone in shloshim to shave? ie break the shloshim? Answer: Lag Baomer is the culmination or breaking of the aveilus for the talmidim of R’… Read more »
Mourning for a spouse
Question: May a spouse observe mourning beyond shloshim. I feel that 30 days is not enough for my husband after 56 years of marriage. Answer: Losing a spouse after 56… Read more »
Calculating Sheloshim
Question: My Mother passed on Chol Hamoed Pesach (April 13th – 17th Nissan) and I need help calculating sheloshim. Please and thank you. Answer: The shloshim is counted from the… Read more »
Kohen at Auschwitz
Question: As a followup question to http://dinonline.org/2017/04/29/tefilin-at-auschwitz/ , If it is permissible to put on Tefillin at Auschwitz, does that mean that a Kohen would be allowed to enter anywhere in… Read more »
Tefilin at Auschwitz
Question: I noticed on the March of the Living that a certain group of chassidim were putting tefillin on the young men within the gates of Auschwitz. They were also… Read more »
shloshim for parent/ pesach
Question: A person is in “SHLOSHIM” for a parent. Pesach occurs during “SHLOSHIM”. Can a person take a haircut, shave and cut nails on EREV PESACH? Can a person send… Read more »
Can I get my eyebrows waxed during the shloshim?
Question: Can I get my eyebrows waxed during the shloshim? Answer: A married woman, or a woman that is looking for a shudduch that is in aveilus of shloshim may… Read more »
Candle after shiva
Question: Can A person keep a candle burning for a departed parent beyond Shiva? Is there a source for such a practice? Having a candle lit for a departed love… Read more »
Avelus for a parent and attendance at a grandson’s bar mitzvah
Question: Aveilus for a parent and attendance at a grandson’s bar mitzvah. What is permitted? Answer: If the bar mitzvah boy will say a dvar torah, or if it is… Read more »
Aveilus and giving gifts
Question: If someone is in the year of aveilus for a parent may the person send a cake or fruit platter in honor of someone’s simcha as a way of… Read more »
Can I buy a Sheital in the year of aveilus?
Question: Can I buy a Sheital in the year of aveilus my present weekday one is in a not good state The sheital was bought on offer of a sale?… Read more »
QUESTIONS RE MOURNING
Question: I am Sephardic Israeli Moroccan A few questions about deceased son please. Many books are not clear. 1. Do you light any more memorial candles throughout the year of… Read more »
Didn’t visit kever in ten years
Question: If someone has not visit his parent’s kever within 10 years is there a minhag not to go anymore? Answer: There are seforim (Taamei Haminhagim 1070 from the Divrei… Read more »
ONEN ?
Question: MY MARRIED BROTHER WAS JUST NIFTAR. KEVURA WILL BE IN ISRAEL. I AM NOT INVOLVED WITH ANY ARRANGEMENTS. AM I STILL AN ONEN? Answer: I am sorry to hear… Read more »
Can I buy a new car for work in the 11th month of aveilus for my father?
Question: Can I buy a new car in the year of aveilus for my father? Answer: Yes you may. A person in aveilus is allowed to buy new things, (except… Read more »
Final Kaddish
Question: A relative passes away on 14 Adar (II) 5776. Is the final Kaddish said at Mincha on 13 Shvat or Mincha of 14 Shvat? Answer: You specifically should stop… Read more »
Aveil and public mourning
Question: As an aveil, I was told that I could not take part in the hoshana circuits, nor dance with the sifrei Torah on Simchas Torah. Why is this not… Read more »
Buying and wearing new clothing during year of availus
Question: I am an older single girl in shiduchim. Is it permissible for me to buy and wear new clothing during the year of availus for my father? Answer: It… Read more »
Buying a new item on Father’s Yur Zeit?
Question: Is it permissible to shop for new clothes or new sheitel on a father’s yurzeit (not the first yurzeit)? What about alterations or fixing a sheitel? Answer: You may… Read more »
Mourners Rights
Question: Our rabbi’s father passed away. He says he has the right to lead prayers in his Chabad nusach even though it’s not the nusach of his synagogue. He does… Read more »
Buying clothes when in mourning
Question: Can one buy new clothes when in year of mourning? What about sales? Is it the same halachos as in nine days? Answer: There isn’t an issue with buying… Read more »
Mazava for child
Question: Should one or does one need to put up a Mazava for a child who died. And if not from what age should one put a mazava up. Answer:… Read more »
Is a lady allowed to be on vacation when she has yahrzeit after her father?
Question: Is a lady allowed to be on vacation when she has yurzeit after her father? Answer: There is a difference between the first yahrtzeit and the other ones. The… Read more »
New Tie During Aveilus, Shehechiyanu on new tie
Question: When in aveilus can one wear a new, good quality tie that was bought as special to be worn at a simcha? Is shehecheyonu commonly said on a tie… Read more »
Learning Mishnayot for a Deceased Parent During a Leap Year
Question: Dear Rabbis, In the first year after a parent’s passing – and when it is a leap year – I understand that mourning customs are observed for twelve months… Read more »
Aveilus and pleasure trip
Question: Is a new mother who is still in the year of aveilus allowed to go away for a shabbos to a hotel or rest home? Answer: If she is… Read more »
Attending a social event for work purposes in year of mourning for a parent
Question: Hi, I am a writer by profession, and have been asked to cover a women’s event for a chesed organization so I can then write up about the event…. Read more »
Avel attending a bris and bar mitzvah of a son during aveilus.
Question: May the mother of the baby boy attend the seudah of the bris l’chatchila if she is still in the year of mourning for a parent. Also may the… Read more »
Buying a new handbag during the avelus year
Question: I am in avelus for my Father a”h. May I purchase and use a new handbag (pocketbook)? Answer: You may buy a new handbag in the aveilus year. The… Read more »
As an Avel in the year for my mother, may I attend Simchas Bais Hashoaiva?
Question: As an Avel in the year for my mother, may I attend Simchas Bais Hashoaiva? Answer: An avel during the first year may not attend the dancing part of… Read more »