Question: On the day of my father’s Yahrzeit can i go to my grandson’s Bar Mitzvah with Music and dance? I see the Rov writes not to a chasuna, Is… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Kiddush donation for a yahrzeit
Question: The yahrzeit Of my mother a”h is Tévet 26th. What is the better minhag : to donate the breakfast at the synagogue on the yahrzeit day so brachot could… Read more »
Bais Hachaim
Question: Hello, could you please provide me the source in halacha that a woman is not allowed to go to the kevurah of a niftar? I think I remember hearing… Read more »
Nichum Aveilim
Question: Shalom Harav I like to send a text to a rabbi who is sitting shiva who just lost his son since I can’t attend being too far what’s the… Read more »
Talit buried
Question: BS”D Shalom dear Rabbi, Question: A fearful Jew can be buried with his talit, tefillin and tzitzit? Answer: Many of the minhagim that are done to the niftar and… Read more »
Watching TV/playing games on tablet during Shloshim and the year
Question: During Shloshim and the Year, while mourning for my mother, may I watch television or movies at home, and/or play games on my tablet either alone or with friends?… Read more »
Aveilus
Question: Is a mourner allowed to sit in a regular chair while eating a meal – both seudas ha’vraah and all other meals during shiva? Answer: The mourner sits on… Read more »
purchasing a watch
Question: As an Avel for a parent, can I purchase a wrist watch? Answer: If it is needed, it is permitted for an avel to buy a wrist watch and… Read more »
Listening to ambient music during aveilus
Question: During the year of mourning for a parent, is it permissible to listen to the so called “ambient” music, which is not really music but sounds, often repetitive, played… Read more »
Can I invite guests for shabbat meal during year of avelut for my father
Question: Can I invite guests for shabbat meal during year of avelut for my father Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei Tzion v’Yerushalayim Regarding your question, it is permitted,… Read more »
playing in an orchestra during aveilut
Question: Hi, A congregant of mine recently learned to play the violin (during the last 4 years). Since then he has been invited to join an orchestra for people learning… Read more »
When would Shloshim Be
Question: My uncle was buried the first second day of Succos (on Yom Tov itself). When would the shloshim be? Answer: The morning of 20th of Cheshvan would be the… Read more »
Grandmother during sheloshim at grandchild’s vort
Question: Can a women in Avelus still in the shloshim for her father go to a granddaughters vort and if yes can she have a manicure and get her face… Read more »
Relieving oneself near Jewish graves
Question: please help me and clarify this question. a friend of mine. who is good jew, we went together to kever tsaddikim to visit in Ukraine. and he wanted to… Read more »
Children attend simchos when a parent is sitting shiva
Question: Can children attend a Simcha when their parent is sitting shiva Answer: The halachos of “misablim imo” that the child or relative of a mourner, mourns together with them,… Read more »
yahrtzeit seuda
Question: My father z”l’s 1st yahrtzeit is coming up on Tzom Gedala. When should the seudas yartzeit/siyum take place? Motzei Rosh hashana, very late and after 2 days of eating… Read more »
Learning mishnayos for two people
Question: Again sorry for asking a third time My question was actually concerning learning mishnayos for my parents who were nifter a few months apart, I tell the family to… Read more »
laws of mourning
Question: Hello, Thank you so much for your help. The question relates to a daughter of a Jewish mother and non-Jewish father. When the father passes away, is the daughter… Read more »
Going to a close friend’s son’s aufruf
Question: Going to a close friend’s son’s aufruf 1. The kiddush in shul – not a sit down. 2. A luncheon with several tables. Answer: My apologies that it took… Read more »
A child mourning the death of a parent
Question: Is it permitted to purchase a new car for oneself or to request it as a gift during the year after the loss of a parent, purely for pleasure… Read more »
aveilut
Question: שלום אני מגיע לקראת סוף הי”ב חדש של אבילות לאבי ז”ל שנפטר בצום גדלי’ שעבר. רציתי לדעת אם יש מה שהוא מיוחד ליום שנגמר אבילות בשנה מעוברת שאניו יום… Read more »
Can one buy shoes if necessary during the year of mourning?
Question: Can one buy shoes if necessary during the year of mourning? Answer: According to many poskim, it is permitted to buy shoes during the year of mourning and it… Read more »
How long is a parent an avel for a son?
Question: How long is a parent an avel for a son? Answer: A parent never forgets thier child, nevertheless regarding the halachos of aveilus all aveilim finish thier aveilus at… Read more »
last day of kaddish
Question: What are the halachos of the last day for saying kaddish (11 months) for a parent ? If the minhag in a shul is to have only one person… Read more »
If I missed the yahrtzeit, is there any significance in going 3 days later?
Question: Today was my son’s 11th yahrtzeit. I was unable to go to the kever due to another child being in the hospital and being discharged only today. (My family… Read more »
ovel attending grandsons barmitzvah
Question: can a grandmother attend a seudas barmitzvah of her grandson if she is in aveilus for her mother but after the shloshim period? there will be no music there… Read more »
Avel visiting married children
Question: Hi, Our mother/mother-in-law is coming to our home for a visit. She in in the first year of aveilus. Are there are any halachos we should know about when… Read more »
Is a person allowed to go a vort while in avelus?
Question: Is a person allowed to go a vort while in avelus? Answer: You can go in for a short time to wish mazal tov, and even have something light… Read more »
Do I say yiskor in first year of avel or not
Question: Do I say yiskor in first year of avel or not Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. There are different minhagim and many people have the… Read more »
swimming after shloshim during the summer
Question: Can I go swimming after shloshim in the summer? Answer: Yes. An avel in the year of mourning may go swimming, the same way that showering is permitted. It… Read more »
Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit?
Question: Is it mutar during shloshim/aveilus year to make a bracha of shehechiyanu on fruit? Answer: An avel, even during shiva is allowed to make a shehechiyanu, as there are… Read more »
Yartzeit
Question: Is one allowed to fly on a plane to go on vacation on the day of his/her mother’s Yartzeit especially if the son of the mother will miss saying… Read more »
Accepting gifts during the first year of mourning
Question: My father passed away two weeks ago. My friend is going on vacation to Europe, and she usually brings me gifts from her travels. Can I accept her gift?… Read more »
How long do I say kaddish for?
Question: Shalom Rabbi. I have a serious problem. My mother passed away last year. I’ve been saying Kadish for her soul ever since 3 times a day plus when I… Read more »
Attending a football match during avelus for a father
Question: My boyfriend and I split up but he said he wished he could talk to me. Unfortunately there is no regular minyan in my town. His avelus ends in… Read more »
Can a Rebbe who is in aveilus for a parent, go to his students bar mitzvas?
Question: Can a Rebbe who is in aveilus for a parent, go to his students bar mitzvas? Answer: He can attend the bar mitzva, but in a limited manner. He… Read more »
Can a zeidy who is in aveilus for a parent, attend the bris of a grandson?
Question: Can a zeidy who is in aveilus for a parent, attend the bris of a grandson? Answer: A zeidy who is in aveuilus may attend his grandsons bris. He… Read more »
Calculating Sheloshim
Question: I cannot determine whether Pesach ended my period of Sheloshim or not. I believe it has to do with whether or not my period of shiva had already ended…. Read more »
Saying kaddish during aveilus on day of yahrtziet of the other parent
Question: I am in the year of Aveilus for my mother, my Father’s Z”L yortziet is coming up when I daven before the amud and say Kaddish do I say… Read more »
Mourning Customs for person whose father was not Jewish
Question: How should I conduct myself for my non Jewish father (my mother was Jewish) concerning halachot of mourning for parent. The community I live in are not aware my… Read more »
Shabbos meal during year of aveilus for a parent
Question: My father passed away 3 months ago, am i allowed to partake in a shabbos meal at my Shul with my husband and family and the rest of the… Read more »
Granddaughter wedding
Question: If a grandmother dies, can a granddaughter have music at her wedding after shiva but before shloshim Answer: Please see the following post. http://dinonline.org/2019/03/22/avel-and-daughters-wedding/ Best Wishes Sources:
Avel and daughters wedding
Question: Can an avel be at his daughters wedding that has music, after shiva before shloshim? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem btoch shar aveili tzion vyerushlayim. Regarding your question, the father… Read more »
Kel maleh rachamim for parent’s yahrtziet in Nissan
Question: Dea Rabbi, I have yahrtzeit for a parent on the 5th of Nissan. I am aware during Nissan we do not say the kel maleh rachamim prayer for the… Read more »
Kaddish or Mishnayos?
Question: I live in Israel and my uncle who was in USA was niftar a few days ago at age 96. He was not frum. His only son is not… Read more »
ז״ל for a woman
Question: At the end of his comment on https://blog.nli.org.il/en/danny-kaye/ Barry Steinhart writes “one doesn’t write ז״ל on a woman and especially a secular one”. Is either statement correct? Answer: I… Read more »
Professional singer during avelut
Question: To a professional singer is died a father. He have a job, but without the money that he will gain with the singer job, (wedding and bar mitsvà) he… Read more »
Unveiling between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur
Question: My wife and daughter passed away in mid-October of 2018. We are thinking of having the unveiling of their tombstones on Sunday, Oct. 6th 2019 – which falls during… Read more »
Writing Kvitels
Question: There is a custom of people davening at kivrei tzadikim. There are some that write letters or kvitelach and kivrei tzadikim (for ex. at the kever of various rebbes z”l… Read more »
Aveilus for grandchildren
Question: Funeral is tomorrow, Sunday for my elderly mother in law on the other coast, and I won’t be present at funeral. WHAT are the mourning customs for grown grandchild… Read more »