Question: Are there any restrictions for a single person mourning a parent to attend a Shabbos or Yom Tov seudah during the year of mourning? For example, if he or… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Number of people that I can eat with
Question: When going to a restaurant for dinner how many couples can accompany me and my husband. I am in shloshim for my brother Answer: It isn’t a question of… Read more »
My mother died April2,2018. Funeral April 4. Sjiva over April 11.
Question: When is shloshim finished Answer: Hamakom Yinachem eschem b;toch sharaveilei tzion v’yirushalayim. Regarding your question, the sholoshim are calculated according to when the funeral was, therefore I am assuming… Read more »
Burial in a non-Jewish cemetery
Question: I am living far away from a Jewish cemetery, can my children bury me in a non-Jewish cemetery. Should I pass away, can my body be buried in a… Read more »
parent in aveilos at child’s wedding
Question: If a parent is in aveilos, can they dance at their own child’s wedding? Answer: Mazal Tov. You should have much nachas from the new couple. Regarding your question,… Read more »
attending non-jewish funeral
Question: Can I attend a non-Jewish funeral in a non-Jewish cemetery for a non-Jewish relative? I do not know yet if there will be a priest on site, but it’s… Read more »
What are the guidelines for how often one may visit a jewish cemetery?
Question: What are the guidelines for how often one may visit a jewish cemetery? Is there a difference for kivrei tzadikim? I heard one should not go more then once… Read more »
Shloshim calculating
Question: Thank you very much for your support My sister passed away last Friday in Israel March 23 .2018 buried in Israel Sunday 25 We start shiva Sunday morning March… Read more »
Shiva and hair cut before pass over
Question: Can we do hair cut before sunset on this Friday if my sister kevura in Israel will be at 10 AM today Sunday in NY time other wise will… Read more »
Unveiling
Question: I thought a child was not supposed to go to the cemetery during the first year after the death of their parent. How doe this work with an unveiling?… Read more »
Aveilus listening to wife’s piano playing
Question: I am in Aveilus for my Mother, toch yud beis chodesh. My wife likes to play piano it’s her hobby. Can she play while I am in the room… Read more »
Onanen
Question: Can someone who just lost a relative take a shower Answer: If the relative is one that the person has to sit shiva, the halacha of an onen is… Read more »
Yahrzeits
Question: Dear Rabbi, If a yahrzeit falls on a saturday, how does Israel observe. Assuming we do not light a candle overnight, one may not light on sabbath. Many thanks…. Read more »
Giving a Yom Tov gift to your wife when she is in the year for a parent
Question: Can I give my wife a gift for Yom Tov even though she is in the year of avelus ?? Is simchas Yom Tov considered different then stam Simcha… Read more »
music during availus
Question: Is an avel allowed to listen to acapella? Or to rhythm, like drums, without other instruments? Thank you. Answer: It is incorrect for someone in aveilus to listen to… Read more »
Mishloach manos during availus
Question: At my job we tend to give mishloach manos to each other before or after Purim, since we’re not here on Purim. May I participate in this? I know… Read more »
Purim Yarzheit
Question: My mother died last Purim morning. We were planning on getting a minyan together to say kaddish on Purim morning. Is this allowed because it is Purim day? If… Read more »
Which is the correct Hebrew name
Question: If someone’s given Hebrew name is for example Avraham but everybody calls/called him Avrum – which name should be used for mishaberach lecholim it for yehrtzeit, or for that… Read more »
May I go to the gym during the year of availus?
Question: May I go to the gym to exercise during the year of availus for my mother? There is music there, but I’m not going for the music. Thank you…. Read more »
Aveilus Questions
Question: In the harachamans in betnching, I usually add in es avi v’es aimi. My father has just passed away, can I still include him in the harachaman? Also, someone… Read more »
Learn mishnayos for two people
Question: Two people were niftar at around the same time. I already signed up to learn a masechta of mishnayos for one of them. May I sign up for the… Read more »
Attending a siduur party while in avalus
Question: May I attend my grandson’s siddur party where there will singing if I am in avalus? Answer: You can attend the siddur party, but you can’t be there when… Read more »
Wearing new clothes for a simcha during Aveilus
Question: Is there any leniency for wearing new clothes at our son’s bar mitzvah without having others wear it first while in the year of Aveilus? Answer: I don’t know… Read more »
Dancing at My Sons bar mitzva while in Aveilus
Question: We are making a bar mitzvah for our 2nd son with music and dancing. at our older son’s bar mitzvah last year, we had ladies dancing (behind a mechitza),… Read more »
hesped on erev shabbos at the levaya
Question: There was a levaya on erev shabbos 230 in the afternoon and the Rabbi allowed hespedim. Is it a minchag or halachic restriction because of kvod shabbos? what is… Read more »
Year of aveilus
Question: Is one allowed to go to shabbos sheva brooches in year of aveilus for mother ? (Invited by good friend who’s daughter getting married ) Answer: In general it… Read more »
WHAT DATE DO I TAKE FOR MY SON’S YARZIET?
Question: We very recently lost our son after a very short and severe aggressive cancer of the stomach, kidneys and liver. As we live in Devon and it happened during… Read more »
when does the year of availut end in first year?
Question: when does the year of availut end in first year? Answer: The aveilut of the first year ends at the end of 12 months from the day of the… Read more »
Kaddish
Question: When to recite kaddish for a death person on the next year if a person passed away by12 am Answer: The day of the Yahrtzeit goes according to the… Read more »
Buying items for the home during shloshim for a parent
Question: Can I purchase a new coffee maker if it is on sale now? It is something I want, not a necessity. Husband will also use it. Answer: It is… Read more »
Aveilis vs kibud av
Question: I am an Avel for my mother, my father is in a nursing home they are making a Chanukah party with music am I allowed to attend it is for… Read more »
Can I redecorate and change flooring in my dining room during year of aveilus?
Question: Can I redecorate and change flooring in my dining room during year of aveilus? Answer: It is permitted to decorate one’s home during the year of aveilus, the same… Read more »
Candle when Matzeivah is not up yet
Question: When I go to visit the cemetary on the day of the sheloshim, there will not yet be a matzeviah up. There is only a small wooden sign marking… Read more »
Date of Yartzeit unknown
Question: A member of my wife’s extended family was nifta just over a year ago. The lived alone and was ‘found’. No one knows exactly the date of her passing… Read more »
Halachos when a relative is sitting Shiva in a differant city
Question: I live in Yerushalyim – my father is siting shiva in NY for his brother – what halachos apply to me during the week of shiva? Answer: If you… Read more »
year of aveilus – shoes ?
Question: Are buying shoes in year of aveilus included in the ban on buying and wearing new clothes? Answer: Buying shoes is not included in the ban of not buying… Read more »
Grandparent dies on week of Bar Mitzvah
Question: A grandmother died and will be buried on Friday before har grandson’s becoming a Bar Mitzvah. Does the family proceed with the Shabbat program as planned? Will the children… Read more »
Visiting Cemetery on Chol hamoed
Question: Can you visit the cemetery between the first two days of Succos and Simchas Torah? Answer: The minhag is not to visit the cemetery during Chol Hamoed. Therefore you… Read more »
May I visit my mothers grave Friday -Her yurzeit is shabboss
Question: May I visit my mother’s grave on Friday – her yurzeit is shabbos Answer: Yes, but it should preferably be done before chatzos.
Avelus for a child vs parent
Question: I’ve been asked why is it that avelus for a child is only one month when it is a lot more painful than losing a parent where avelus is… Read more »
May I go away for a family vacation/shabbos during shloshim for my mom
Question: May I go away for a family vacation/shabbos during the shloshim for my mom.We usually go away only in the summer as the kids are off and wont be… Read more »
Music during year after passing of a parent when doing exercise
Question: My mother passed away a few weeks ago. I would listen to music on a small ipod at the gym as a diversion while working out. Although I listened… Read more »
If I buy a new sheital in the year of aveilus, does someone else have to wear it before me?
Question: I bought a new sheital in my year of aveilus intending for a friend to wear it for 2 days before myself, however the sheital has obviously been tried… Read more »
Food from shiva house
Question: My neighbor gave me the food from his shiva house that was leftover I was holding it for someone else needy. The needy person turns out doesn’t need it… Read more »
Buying a new shaitel
Question: Can I buy a sheitel during the shiloshim for my Mother Answer: Hamakom Yinachem Eschem b’toal aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim Regarding your question, the minhag is that an avel doesn’t… Read more »
Singing during aveilus
Question: During the year of mourning is it permissible to sing to a child or yourself? Answer: My apologies that it took so long to get back to you. It… Read more »
Yartzeit Kaddish for an Aunt
Question: If I missed saying Kaddish on my Aunts Yartzeit last week and no one else said Kaddish.Is it advisable/ recommened to simply say one Kadish now? Answer: It isn’t… Read more »
Birchas Kohanim – Beis H’avel
Question: In chutz l’aretz, if someone other than the avel is davening for the amud (for example, on Rosh Chodesh) does the chazan say Alokeinu V’alkei Avosaino etc. (birchas kohanim)… Read more »
Washing hands after funeral
Question: Is one allowed to wash their hands after a funeral inside a building that is not a residential building? (For example, washing one’s hands in a shul, yeshiva, restaurant,… Read more »
During the year of aveilus is it permitted to go to the engagement of a great nephew?
Question: During the year of aveilus is it permitted to go to the engagement of a great nephew (my brothers grandson)? Answer: There are different opinions to this. However he… Read more »