Question: There is a custom of people davening at kivrei tzadikim. There are some that write letters or kvitelach and kivrei tzadikim (for ex. at the kever of various rebbes z”l… Read more »
Category: Mourning and burial
Aveilus for grandchildren
Question: Funeral is tomorrow, Sunday for my elderly mother in law on the other coast, and I won’t be present at funeral. WHAT are the mourning customs for grown grandchild… Read more »
Kaddish during avalus
Question: I am in Avelus for my mother, if I have davened Mincha already and go to a different shul to daven maariv, if there is a mynion still davening… Read more »
Ovel going to granddaughter’s Sheva Brachos
Question: My daughter is IY”H making a wedding, I will be invited to Sheva Brachos after, can I as a Zeidy go the Sheva Brochos during the week after, and… Read more »
Calulating shloshim
Question: My parent died at moon on the 8th of shevat and was buried at noon on the 9 th of shvat. What is the final day of shloshim Answer:… Read more »
Can a Gabai During Shiva Stand as Sgan on Shabbos
Question: Can a Gabai During Shiva Stand as Sgan on Shabbos. If he doesn’t take his position, is that not aveilus in public as it would be very noticeable if… Read more »
Avelus question
Question: I am in Avelus for my mother a”h, my wifes nephew is getting married, what is my halacha for the weddings, eating at kabalos Ponim, staying for chupa, and… Read more »
YARZEIT ADAR leap year
Question: In a leap year, when should one “celebrate” a yarzeit in ADAR 1 or ADAR 2 when a parent passed away in a non leap-year YEAR? Are their different… Read more »
attending a funeral at a reform temple
Question: My mother’s funeral is tomorrow– at a reform temple. I am going, because of peace in the family. When we announce the shiva, may we announce the levaya as… Read more »
Receiving Workplace Gifts during the Year of Mourning for a Parent
Question: My place of work recently had an event which I couldn’t attend, where they gave a gift to all their employees. I’ve now been informed that the gift is… Read more »
Taanis Yachid on sunday
Question: I have a Yartzeit on Motzei Shabbos-Sunday. How do I go about accepting it at Mincha Shabbos afternoon? Is it a problem of Hachana? Where can I find this… Read more »
Yahrzeit candles
Question: Dear Rabbi, What must be known of the halacha of yahrzeit. Must a candle be lit at a time specific. Can you light early or prefer a sunrise lighting… Read more »
dinei aveilus
Question: Is new linen permitted during the year of aveilus for a parent? Answer: Yes. Linens are considered new items, and not new clothing, therefore they are permitted during aveilus…. Read more »
Can a person in aveilut for a parent attend a chuppah?
Question: Can a person in aveilut for a parent attend a chuppah? Answer: Yes., you can attend the chuppah but under two conditions. One is that the chuppah is not… Read more »
Attending a Pidyon Haben on a Yahrtziet
Question: I have been invited to pidyon haben of family and it is on the yahrzeit of my mother. Can I go or not? Answer: You may go to… Read more »
Level of uncomfort during shiva
Question: My father has recently passed and I am currently sitting shiva. However, I am in my 5th day of not bathing and my skin is very itchy and making… Read more »
Sitting Shiva for a Non-Frum Sibling
Question: Must I sit shiva for my sister who is not shomer mitzvos? She grew up in a religious home but now as an adult she says, in effect, it… Read more »
playing piano during aveilus
Question: I am at the beginning of my aveilus for my father, z”l and I am a piano player. I’m not a professional, but it is s significant hobby. When… Read more »
Marital Relationship after Shiva
Question: Can one have sex as a woman during shiva? or how long after shiva can one have sex? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. Regarding your question, the laws… Read more »
Does an Ovel daven for the omud on Rosh Chodesh
Question: Does an Ovel daven for the omud on Rosh Chodesh? Answer: An ovel does not daven on Rosh Chodesh since it is a day that we don’t say “lam’natzyach”…. Read more »
seudah of bar mitvah on fathers yortzeit
Question: Can I attend a seudah of a friend’s bar mitzvah on my father’s yortziet? ראיתי בש”ך שאין לאכול בסעודת משתה ושמחה ביום היארצייט. השאלה היא אם זהו בכלל סעודת… Read more »
Can I travel to Israel during my year of Aveilut for my father z’l
Question: My husband will be in Israel for for 3 weeks for business and I would like to join him for part of the time. I am allowed to travel… Read more »
Spelling out the name of the niftar by a matzeivah
Question: when one says tehillim by a matzeivah spelling out the name of the niftar, does one spell out the name of the father too, i.e. ploni ben ploni or… Read more »
Mother’s name on matzeva and not father’s name
Question: I recently saw many tombstone inscriptions from Bratislava (Pressburg), and all mention the mother’s name and not the father. I’d like to know the source & origin of the… Read more »
Daven at kivrei tzadikim at night
Question: Can one daven at a kever at night? Answer: It is permitted to daven at a kever at night, especially at kivrei tzadikim, as is the minhag to daven… Read more »
Visiting a kever
Question: Does a child in a year of aveilut for a parent visit their grave before Yom Kippur? Answer: A child may go to the grave of a parent during… Read more »
Unveiling Ceremony for Temporary Headstone
Question: My family is trying to arrange an unveiling ceremony for our mother, a”h. Unfortunately, the company the cemetery uses to make the headstones does sloppy work, and we’ve had… Read more »
Hallel recited in house of mourning
Question: Is hallel recited on Rosh Hodesh in a shiva house? Answer: Under normal circumstances Hallel is not recited in the shiva house. Sources: Divrei Sofrim 27-80
leading the funeral and saying Kaddish
Question: About leading the funeral and saying Kaddish: We had a funeral in a Kehila, and instead of the regular Rabbi they had an apprentice Rabbi Student , around 20… Read more »
Aveilus for community activist
Question: I am a community activist I am in the shloshim for my father a’h can I go to political events with food? Can I eat there and is after… Read more »
Relations on yahrtzeit
Question: Are relations permitted on the night when one spouse has yartzeit for a parent? The spouse w/o yartzeit is returning from a long trip that day. Answer: Yes they… Read more »
Outing during Availus
Question: Is one permitted to go to a ballgame during availus? Answer: Without getting into the issue weather one should or shouldn’t attend a ballgame, regarding aveilus, it is hard… Read more »
When is shloshim?
Question: My mother was buried on June 19 , 2018 in morning in USA. When is shloshim? Answer: Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei tzion v’yerushalayim. The shloshim is calculated… Read more »
Calculating shloshim
Question: My father was niftar on ב תמוזand was buried on ה תמוז When is shloshim? I think it may fall on Shabbas-if this is the case should we go… Read more »
matzava
Question: A woman was married to Mr. a for many years and had children with him, after he passed away she married Mr. b, whose name goes on her matzava… Read more »
Can I attend a retirement dinner, accept appreiciation gift durng the year of aveilus?
Question: I am in the year of aveilus for my mother. Can I attend a retirement dinner for a fellow teacher? Also, can I use money that was given to… Read more »
In an open field, how close can a person get to a Niftar/Nifteret before he contracts Tum’ah?
Question: In an open field, how close can a person get to a Niftar/Nifteret before he contracts Tum’ah? Answer: If the person is not a kohen he will not become… Read more »
Year of mourning in year with two adars
Question: My husband is in mourning for his father who passed away on 12 Sivan this year. Next year there are two adars. When does his mourning period end? 12… Read more »
Year of Mourning and Attending Shabbos/Yom Tov Meals Outside the Home
Question: Are there any restrictions for a single person mourning a parent to attend a Shabbos or Yom Tov seudah during the year of mourning? For example, if he or… Read more »
Number of people that I can eat with
Question: When going to a restaurant for dinner how many couples can accompany me and my husband. I am in shloshim for my brother Answer: It isn’t a question of… Read more »
My mother died April2,2018. Funeral April 4. Sjiva over April 11.
Question: When is shloshim finished Answer: Hamakom Yinachem eschem b;toch sharaveilei tzion v’yirushalayim. Regarding your question, the sholoshim are calculated according to when the funeral was, therefore I am assuming… Read more »
Burial in a non-Jewish cemetery
Question: I am living far away from a Jewish cemetery, can my children bury me in a non-Jewish cemetery. Should I pass away, can my body be buried in a… Read more »
parent in aveilos at child’s wedding
Question: If a parent is in aveilos, can they dance at their own child’s wedding? Answer: Mazal Tov. You should have much nachas from the new couple. Regarding your question,… Read more »
attending non-jewish funeral
Question: Can I attend a non-Jewish funeral in a non-Jewish cemetery for a non-Jewish relative? I do not know yet if there will be a priest on site, but it’s… Read more »
What are the guidelines for how often one may visit a jewish cemetery?
Question: What are the guidelines for how often one may visit a jewish cemetery? Is there a difference for kivrei tzadikim? I heard one should not go more then once… Read more »
Shloshim calculating
Question: Thank you very much for your support My sister passed away last Friday in Israel March 23 .2018 buried in Israel Sunday 25 We start shiva Sunday morning March… Read more »
Shiva and hair cut before pass over
Question: Can we do hair cut before sunset on this Friday if my sister kevura in Israel will be at 10 AM today Sunday in NY time other wise will… Read more »
Unveiling
Question: I thought a child was not supposed to go to the cemetery during the first year after the death of their parent. How doe this work with an unveiling?… Read more »
Aveilus listening to wife’s piano playing
Question: I am in Aveilus for my Mother, toch yud beis chodesh. My wife likes to play piano it’s her hobby. Can she play while I am in the room… Read more »
Onanen
Question: Can someone who just lost a relative take a shower Answer: If the relative is one that the person has to sit shiva, the halacha of an onen is… Read more »